Once in a while, we notice something that makes our hearts sing. It begins with a sight, a smell, a photograph, or a line from a familiar song. It starts to shimmer, sparkle, and then bursts into a tiny flame that starts to warm our hearts and eventually settles into joyful gladness. It reminds me of my love affair with sparklers when I was a child. About once or twice a year, on a dark night, I would hold a sparkler that was shimmering and making its beloved hissing sound. I was captivated by its brightness, thrilling at the way I could write things in the sky. All too soon it would sputter and be gone. In the counseling office, I get the opportunity to meet a lot of people. Here's what I've noticed. Truly happy people turn almost every day into a “sparkler day”. They’re constantly on the lookout for the special moments that pass through all our lives. Instead of allowing them to slip away unnoticed, they notice them, catch them, and take a mental picture to add to their album of joy. Perhaps it’s the way the raindrop shimmers when the sun hits it in the right way. Perhaps it’s the smell of freshly baked bread. Or that feeling of chilly air as it hits their cheeks on a fall day. They notice, grab on, and allow the joy to warm their hearts. So take some free counseling advice. Life can be stressful. It can be taxing. It can feel like we go from one crisis to another. If we’re not careful, we can feel overwhelmed and submerged in darkness as black as night. But unlit sparklers are there waiting for us to hold, enjoy, and write in the sky! Find those golden moments, grab them, exult in their beauty, and allow joy and gratitude to settle in your heart. As we approach this season of gratitude, decide to be truly grateful. Thankfulness is not for just one day of the season, but a way of living day by day, moment by moment. I wish you days filled with unquenchable joy. Happy Thanksgiving!
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75 years of research has shown that people who thrive in life have deep, meaningful relationships. Has it ever occurred to you that some of us have never acquired the skill of making and keeping friends? Many of us were born into some friendships: my parents and someone else’s parents were friends, so we played together. Other friends were acquired through common school experiences. But what about keeping friends? Have you ever considered that friendships need to be nurtured to be kept healthy and vibrant? How good are we at nurturing relationships with people who are important to us? Here are a few suggestions for you to implement this week:
1.Maintain contact Send a little note to someone whose friendship you value via text, email, or social media. It takes a few seconds, and is a way of saying, “I remember you, I’m thinking about you, and I’m interested in your life.” 2. Create time Never allow the urgent to take precedence over the important. Be intentional about creating time to hang out with a friend. Block out time in your schedule this week to have someone over, meet someone for coffee, or video chat with a friend who adds sparkle to your life. 3. Be grateful If you are grateful for a long-standing friendship or relationship, make the effort to say so! It doesn’t have to be soppy or awkward. Just say it practically….like sharing a few of those chocolate chip cookies you’ve made with a note that says, “Thanks for being you”, or sending a photo of something that reminds you of them. And why are relationships important anyway? Please watch one of my favorite TED talks here based on 75 years of research at Harvard. It will inspire and encourage you! Have an amazing week filled with happiness! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI Welcome! I am so excited that you found my blog. I intend to use this space to post thoughts and helpful tools.
I know that coming to see a counselor can be scary.....in fact to some it seems downright terrifying. The one thing you don't need is for anyone to know your deepest, darkest secrets, right? Rest assured your secrets are safe. I certainly don't feel the need to know anything you don't choose to tell me. Honestly! Usually, clients come in with a question or challenge they would like to explore. For some, it's something in their past they would like to lay to rest so that it doesn't have the power to haunt them any more. For others, it may the stresses of living alongside a difficult person. All they need is a few new perspectives on their situation, or a few new tools to bring harmony and peace. The conversation is easy and fun, and it is anything BUT an interrogation! Usually, my clients feel relieved and hopeful when they leave my office. I hope this sets your mind at ease. There is an old adage that says "A problem shared is a problem halved." Why try to carry it alone? |
AuthorI am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I love helping people with all my heart, and hope to use what I know to make the world a safe, warm place. Archives |